Jesus Christ Forums

[Crystal]

Now please I understand fully this is a very touchy subject and the word touchy dosnt even begin to describe it.
Fist off I wish to say I am not Pro Life in the sence of against abortion.
I AM Pro life for all living creatures.
Now you may ask what the heck is she talking about??
Let me clarify myself then, I'm a 26 year old Female with 3 children.
Why am I not agasint abortion?
I will answer that after I tell you about myself its a long story so please grab a glass of milk.

I was born to a woman who already had 4 other children and worked the streets for a living.
Child protective services took 4 of us away from her after my brother was found dead he was two months old.
I was 2 years old at the time and was taken into custody and was held for nearly a month in ICU for severe malnutrition , strep and complications of pheumona.
My two oldest sisters were split up one put in a home because of her emotional disterbances she could not be placed with a family.
She did manage to grow up become addiected to drugs and gave birth to a little boy who died at the age of 4 months complication of being born addicted.
My oldest sister was placed with a couple for foster care.
She grew up and seemed quite stable untill she had children of her own.
Last year when the boys were 11, 10, and 8 years old she walked away without a word , they are currently in the custody of the state of Missiouri.
She never bonded with her children so I guess found no remourse in walking out on them.
Me and my last sister the court ordered we were to be kept together we were young and had a chance at being adopted.
We were put in fostercare and went through several home and a few prospective adoptive parents none worked out untill I was six years old.

When I was six years old I was placed with the family that would eventualy adopt me, but it still took another two years after placment for the court to finaly revoke my birth mothers rights compleatly.

I wish I could say it was all great from there on out but it wasnt.
I was adopted yes into a very well off and privliged family even.
Well off enough for the police to turn thier heads the other way in the tiny town we lived in when nieghbors called the them.
I ran away at the age of sixteen and had a child at the age of seventeen.
I dont know what went wrong in that most women spend nine months in excitment and fear over thier comming child.
I spent mine in depression and admitadly hatred and guilt because I knew I shouldnt feel this way.
Well I had a little boy and nothing changed I still resented everything about him and wanted nothing more than to get away I went to school full time and worked full time and when I got home I never cuddled him or spoke really i just fed him gave him a bath and went to bed.
Needless to say he developed emotional problems.
When I was 19 I had another child but this time was everything in the world differant from the moment I knew I was excited and happy about this baby ..but i still disliked my son.
When my little girl was born I focused on her compleatly which lead to further emotional neglect of my son.
I knew this was wrong but I couldnt help it for some reason and I was afraid to tell anyone because I was afraid they would take my little girl away from me.
When he was 4 years old he attacked his sister violently and I lost it.
By the time I relized what I was doing he was covered his whole body in belt marks.
I think I relized then that there was something wrong with me.
I waited untill his bruises were gone then I did the only thing I knew to do
I packed him up drive him to his fathers mothers house and left him with her.
I have never been back.

My little girl is now seven and she has a younger sister who is four.
They are the center of my world and I am the center of thiers.
They are happy children the oldest is a straight A student and the younger is a little imp.
I love my girls fully and without reserve I would die for them and I would kill for them.

While I do not visit my son I do keep updated on him.
He will never be normal he has a terrible attachment disorder and depression he is on medication and does have suisidal tendancies.

I short I am to blame for that perhaps I should have had an abortion rather than bring a life not wanted into the world.

I love children now..all children my youngest has high functioning autism and has tought me a valuble lesson in life.
That lesson is butterflys are pretty , she tought me how to look at the world through the eyes of a child who has never known there is a darker side of life.
She modivated me to try to help other children.
I joined the big sisters program.

But all in all here is what I have learned in my life.
I am not agasinst abortion because I see so many faces of children already here who need help.
I look at them and I cant understand why so many people lobby for children not born and yet so few lift a finger for those already here.

Anyway I am for protecting life.... but when I say life I mean those who are here now , with us.
Children die each day..children and babies ones who are already here breathing, dreaming, and we can reach out and touch them and there they are.
Everyday children die at the hands of those who are supposed to be protecting them and everyday we hear about how many people are trying to get abortion baned...and yet I rarly hear any of these people attempting to save those children already here.

So there it is my Pro life stance is for those already here children and adults and even animals.
>

So in short i'm asking only for a better understand here of why do so many lobby for rights of children not yet here and so very few lift a finger to help those who are.
Even though they all say oh how terrible when the news comes on and we hear of another one dead at the hands of thier providers.
I know the pictures of those who never had a chance at life are compeling..but not compeling enough to a person who knows what can become of a child born unwanted.
I dont belive in the religious aspect of reasons...I belive this is something you must belive in because your compeled for a reason to belive in it..not just because a book says its wrong. (please dont flame me over that statment its just what I belive and have had a few to many bad run in's with what I call bible thumpers ..those who preach one thing than do another)

On a side note I met my birth mother a few years ago she was a born again christian and a memeber of the second baptist church.
She told me I was going to go to hell for not being a christian.
But I have found peace and happiness in my belifes I think thats all any of us can really ask for is to find that peace finaly and to be happy in life despite all the things it can dish your way.
And its my firm belife we as a nation should be trying to help those already here.
But I am also trying to get a understanding as to WHY so many choose to rally for those not yet here instead.
I'm not here for debate or aurguing I asked this question before on a public pro choice forum without my life story attached and got flamed into itty bitty chunks and i'm still not sure why.
If there are spelling errors or you have trouble following what I write I'm sorry I do the best I can.

Motto Dyslexia isnt a disability its an advantige in strange cross word puzzles.
Thank you for reading my long and most likly fuzzy post.
Crystal

[Chrysoprasus]

Your post wasn't fuzzy, it was sincere and completely understandable.
I do understand why you would feel that way, but do not agree to the solution of abortion. It's hard to hear those stories where children are unwanted and abused, but abortion was available to your mother and she didn't choose it. All of the young children you hear about being abused now, their mothers could have had abortions. They didn't. So obviously having that option made no difference.
Stopping the murder of the unborn does make a difference for the children who are already here. It's promoting the sanctity of life, raising awareness of how valuable life itself is, and that causing harm to a life is wrong. We are trying to make people realize that all life is valuable and precious, no matter what the age of the child.
In our human minds, we judge whether a child would be better off dead or alive. In cases of abuse, it's easier to say dead because seeing a child suffer is horrible.
BUT, that decision is not ours. When we see a child outside the womb being abused, we do not kill them so that they will be better off. We help them. When we see an unborn child in danger of being harmed, we help them.
True, the focus you've seen on this forum is toward the unborn. It happenes to be what the Lord has laid on my heart to stand against the most. There are a number of other issues I have strong feelings about, but for me this is the one that it seems I have the best opportunity to deal with. Also, the majority of people already realize that abusing and harming born children is horrible, they realize that hunger is a problem, that violence is a bad thing. The majority of people don't realize that abortion kills a child though.
There's also a lot more to the abortion issue than a lot of people understand. It includes setting up centers to counsel people, sex education, promoting chastity, raising money to help them care for their baby should they decide against abortion, providing information on adoption for those who decide they truly can't care for the child, referring people to agencies that provide parenting skills help, etc. etc..
It all works together to help set up an environment where the child will be loved, wanted, and cared for after a decision against abortion is made.
More later, my daughter has an appointment I gotta get too!
But thanks for posting your thoughts, you brought up some interesting points.
Chrys
_________________
Teach me thy way, O Lord; I will walk in thy truth.

[Crystal]

Thank your for your responce
But the fact of the matter is my mother didnt have an abortion because she couldnt get one since she was so strung out she was nearly 5 months along with me before she would belive she was really pregnant.
Life is so complicated and I wish there was a black and white answer to things but I cant find one.
Women who abuse thier children dont have abortions because of the same reason they didnt use birth control.
They refuse to take responcibilty for thier own actions and choose to ignore the problem instead.
Only after awhile they find a child isnt something you can ignore and it go away.
I wish I could say adoption was the answer but its not.
There are lots of couples out there looking for babies...no not a child to have raise and love but a BABY and a normal one at that.
Personaly I wish they would pass a law stateing unless it was family adopting family that all adoption had to go through the state that way all kids would get a shot and not just perfect little newborn (mostly white) infants.

Hearing storeies of abused children is hard?
Damn right its hard and it makes me extreamly angry and all anyone ever does is say oh thats sad then change the channel so they can forget about it and focus on something else.

Yes abortion kills a child (course I only believe it kills a child after the 4th month of pregnacny but thats a personal belife)
But so does abuse and which is more importtant?
I think the children already here deserve the rallys and the attention from the media and from whatever religious orginization people belong to.
I belive almost all of it goes to the abortion issue though which greatly upsets me.
But this is because I see the children already here as being in more need of help than those who could potentily be here.


I think most people understand abortion terminates life.
However a great deal of people dont belive life has a right untill its viable (means it can live outside its mothers body)
Many christian churches have taken that stance as well..dosnt mean they are right but no one really knows when a childs spirit enters a body nor is that an issue here in the U.S were church and state must remain seperated to protect all this countrys people.


Education IS they key to prevention in both abortion and abuse.
But few are willing there are even parents out there right now who want to take sex ed and drug/pregnancy awareness out of our childrens class rooms .
What on earth is on these peoples minds I can not tell you but they sure arnt thinking of the overall good of the community but t\rather thinking on a me and my own syndrom.

Chasity..in a perfect world its the perfect answer.
I dont know about you but I have never lived anyware near that world.
And I dont mean that in the way of oh just let kids do whatever..I mean kids are having sex earlier and earlier.
When I had my youngest I was shocked to be put ina room with a girl who gave birth to a 13 pound little boy.
both the infants size shocked me as well as looking over and seeing the mother was nothing and I mean nothing but a child ..she was 11 years old and there I sat at age 23 having had my third live child just in shock at a kid throwing her life away so young.
Untill that moment I had honestly thought the only ones that young were victims of incest or rape but no..in her case it was a kid consenting to sex with another kid.

And that is what we are facing Promoting abstance is a wonderfull thing something we should all do.
But its not an issue to be forced because kids tend to run off and do the first thing they arnt supposed to.
So my oldest girl is 7 years old she knows were babies come from, she knows how they get there, she knows all her parts and all a little boys parts.
She is educated to the best of what one can do with a child her age on sex and its effects and repercussions.
Will this stop her from becomming a teen mom?
I certainly hope so but kids dont come with a how to manual one has to wing it.

But if the day comes and she desides abstance isnt for her then yes I will take her down to the cllinc for condoms and birth control.
And that I think is a large problem some parents push to hard for either religious reasons or social reasons to keep sex in the closet per say.
So when thier kids start becomeing sexually active they get upset and punish them while refuseing to help them prevent pregnacny.

A parents and a childs only defence against pregnancy and abortion is one to pay attention!
Two..lovethem no matter what they arnt you and they may not hold your same values.

Three for thier futures sake if they start having sex put away your belifes and feelings long enough to help them and I mean truly HELP them not lecture them take them get them the education they need and get them the protection they need.

Ask them questions were are you going?
Who are your friends?
What is the number?
How do I reach you?
How long will you be gone?
These help prevent so many problems from drug abuse to sex.
Once we stop unwanted pregnancies we stop abortion.

What woud I like to see on the abortion issue?
strict control they are to easy to get!
I cant say i'm aganst abortions within the first trimester except in those cases where some owmen have multiple ones and use it as a form of birth control..thats terrible.

These so called partial birth abortions in my eyes are nothing short of murder.
second trimester abortions...this is the sticky area I belive only if the mothers life is in danger and OR the child will be severly handicaped or will not live.
This is sticky because what determines if the mothers life is in danger?
Well I dont know but I can tell you its often used as an excuse instead of a fact so its a hard one to control.
But i would like to see a ban on any ELECTIVE abortion past the first trimester.

[Chrysoprasus]

Thanks for your post! I'm too used to people posting and running, it's nice to see someone stay and talk a while!
It sounds like you'd be a perfect person to help out in the fight against child abuse. Have you considered starting something or joining what is already in place in your area to help prevent child abuse and the issues surrounding it?
Everyone has their calling...mine appears to be abortion, and it looks like yours is probably child abuse! I'd encourage you to get involved, it sounds like you'd make a great advocate.
There's a lot of things you can even do online as far as promoting awareness and education on the issue. If you're interested in doing that let me know, we could probably set up a forum just for that either here or on hartdtruth.net, or mirrored on both, for you to do so.
Chrys
_________________
Teach me thy way, O Lord; I will walk in thy truth.

[Amadeus]

Think of it this way:

I have suffered a miserable life...everyone has to some extent.
But God has given me so many wonderful experiences: Friends, family, nature, animals, sunsets, mountains, novels, movies...I could go on.

If I had been aborted, I never would have experienced the joy of the Lord. I never would have seen true life for what it is. It isn't the hurt, the constant struggle to make ends meet. It is loving encounters, beautiful skies, and following God to the best of your ability.

THAT is life, and I would go through TEN THOUSAND times more hurt to be able to experience a moment of it!

Do not promote denying children of their chance at life.

[gerani]

"If I had been aborted, I never would have experienced the joy of the Lord. I never would have seen true life for what it is. "

UNLESS if you believe in reincarnation. but thats a whole nother topic.

"There are lots of couples out there looking for babies...no not a child to have raise and love but a BABY and a normal one at that. "

then HELP the adoption system. it is VERY VERY VERY hard to adopt a child. the procedure is endless. and tough. the baby ends up growing and gets pushed into fosterhome after forster home, a very tramautic childhood.

in the U.S. the reality is most couples who want children eventually get them. first the white male gets adopted, then the white girl, then the black male, then the black female. as sad as it is.

instead of preaching against abortion and wasting time like that, why dont we help so that the adoption system is much better? its much more constructive. thats what i think bush should do.
_________________


Paint my Face in your magazines,
Make it look wider than it seems,
Paint me over with your dreams,
Shove away my ethnicity.

[On My Way]

Hi Gerani

Are you adopted? Just curious

[gerani]

but bush cant suggest to governers of the state govt? tst.

the adoption system needs much reform.

"So if a Black couple want to adopt and a white baby is available and a black baby is available the white one will go with the black couple? Kind of Archie Bunkerish way of thinking don't you think? "

uh. no. use ur common sense. go here http://www.bet.com/News/Archives/adoptionbiasedagainstblacks.htm

this is reality, its biased and it needs reform.

http://singleparents.about.com/b/a/006851.htm

http://www.bc.edu/bc_org/rvp/pubaf/chronicle/v4/S21/GSSW.html

both the adoption system and the foster home system need to be reformed. its horrible what kids go through. thats why in some extreme cases, im for abortion. but on other things, i think its sorta wrong. but its a persons choice to do what they want. i just dont have faith in the adoption system. id (if i was female, raped, or just poor, struggling, or have a medical condition, or feel that i cannot bring my child up with proper education and lifstyle) have an abortion and let my child die and be reborn into another life were he can have both set of parents, many many opportunities, and live life.

but i believe in reincarnation, you dont. anyways, back on topic.
im all for adoption, but the system is terrible and needs to be reformed.
_________________


Paint my Face in your magazines,
Make it look wider than it seems,
Paint me over with your dreams,
Shove away my ethnicity.

[On My Way]

Hi gerani
Time to make up your mind!
In the post “a good reason for Christians to vote for Bush” you wrote

[gerani]

okay...
_________________


Paint my Face in your magazines,
Make it look wider than it seems,
Paint me over with your dreams,
Shove away my ethnicity.